Sasquatch Hunters: The Hit No One Knew About

Daniel: I would like to say that the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” is in complete effect while watching Sasquatch Hunters. It’s just a shame that most people haven’t heard about the movie because of bigger budget action flicks that were released around the same time. It features a relatively unknown cast (much like current Gus Van Sant films) but their chemistry pulls you through the story like never before.

Robb: Not only is the chemistry among the cast amazing, the actors themselves do a brilliant job. I don’t know what these young actors were seeing when they signed on to act in a movie about a rag tag group of archaeologists and park rangers, but whatever it was they were ALL able to pull it off and deliver a universally wonderful performance. I had my doubts about everything in this movie but after watching Sasquatch Hunters all of them were debunked.

Daniel: I think you’re understating how great the performances actually were. When all the characters are huddled around the campfire the script doesn’t carry the story into the normal ghost story talk. Instead relationships are formed that no writer could put into words. Gary Sturm even rivals the big time actors like Sean Connery, Anthony Hopkins, or Michael Caine as the sensible Dr. Edwards.

Robb: Not to mention the infamous “Tiggle Bitties.” She has the honor of playing out the best scene in the movie which involved her using the camera’s flash as a flashlight. It’s bone tingling to say the least, and expertly crafted.

Daniel: Exactly, “Tiggle Bitties” will undoubtedly go down in history as one of the smartest characters in movie history. She proves to be versatile time and time again in a way that doesn’t disappoint the viewer. Not to mention the steamy shower scene which only leaves the viewer wanting more and more. If audiences were dozing off prior to the shower scene (which I doubt) then it ended up being like a shot of adrenaline right to the heart. Mark my words: Tiggle Bitties will be the next Marilyn Monroe.

Robb: Which leads me to point out the one flaw within this masterpiece. Tiggle Bitties doesn’t show us her big ol’ titties. This is unfortunate because the prudes who decided this dragged the film down from “Greatest Film Ever Conceived by Man Kind” to “Possibly the Greatest Film Ever Conceived by Man Kind.” Show us your titties Tiggle Bitties!

Daniel: Again, I have to agree with you. They first tease us with endless amounts of footage of quality cleavage and then… nothing. To be honest with you, I took it like a slap in the face. I was pretty crushed. Tiggle Bitties not putting out in Sasquatch Hunters is like Ralphie in A Christmas Story not getting his Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. The only difference is that Ralphie did get his air rifle. So where are the jublees?

Robb: I don’t know, but I find it best not to dwell on issues like these, no matter how significant they are, especially when you have such an excellent film like Sasquatch Hunters. Moving on, we need to discuss how awesome the special effects were. While many films these days consider having puppets or costumes portray the monsters, I believe that Sasquatch Hunters did it with dignity and style. The combination of computer animation with the old school Big Foot costume was brilliant and really added to final flair of the movie.

Daniel: Yeah, I mean it’s almost like you got two monsters for the price of one. First you had the excellent special effects Big Foot who could totally grab a person by the legs and smash them against a tree. Then you also had the emotion that only a real human could bring out through rhythmic running sequences in an extremely detailed Sasquatch outfit.

Robb: Yes, I believe that Sasquatch makes an important message about race. The all white group completely disregard all respect for the Sasquatch’s burial grounds and the Sasquatch himself. The Sasquatch, obviously being a symbol of the black man, kills all of (or maybe most I don’t know) the white people.

Daniel: I think you’re wrong here. Obviously his free spirit is a symbol for the Native American community who were also hunted in a similar fashion. Now the Sasquatch represents how the tables have been turned. The movie is definitely a cautionary tale about race, gender, and class in a post apocalyptic society such as our own.

Robb: I think that in many ways this is reflected in the script. There are several points in the movie where the dialog made me question my own personal reason in life and how it benefits society. The dialog ties together a deep and emotional meaning and allows for an excellent cast to act with such beautiful chemistry. I really wish this movie would have been more known in the Hollywood community, they could use a clue or two how to intricately weave a story from Alain Matz.

Daniel: What did you think about the ending? I personally didn’t get to see it because the whole movie was like looking into the sun for me. It was so bright and exciting that eventually you just have to take a step back and look away.

Robb: Yes, I actually blacked out from an overload of greatness intake.

Daniel: Wow, you too? My final verdict: 999,999,999/19. How about you?

Robb: I would have to say: 999,999,997/19. I simply took 3 points away because the lack of any nudity in the film. This, of course, is the only flaw in the entire movie.